Mask:
Poster:
Updated Scene:
(Exit METON and enter BORIS JOHNSON)
BORIS
Where is Pithetaerus?
PITHETAERUS
Who are you?
BORIS
I have been elected to come to Cloudcuckooland as a politician.
PITHETAERUS
A politician! And who sends you here?
BORIS
The people!
PITHETAERUS
Yeah right. Will you just pocket your salary, do nothing, and then go?
BORIS
Indeed I will. I am hoping to pocket as much money for doing as little as possible in the shortest amount of time.
PITHETAERUS
Is that all?
BORIS
Not at all. I can give you new laws and boss you around, as well as lecture and patronize you. And did I tell you that I intend to take as much money from you as possible?
PITHETAERUS
You might as well be going now. I already have your salary here.
BORIS
Really? Where?
PITHETAERUS
Here. Come closer.
BORIS
Where is it?
PITHETAERUS
Here!
(PITHETAERUS goes to hit BORIS)
PITHETAERUS
Go away! We don’t want your sort here either.
(Exit BORIS, into fridge)
(Enter DAVID CAMERON)
DAVID
Where is Pithetaerus?
PITHETAERUS
And who are you?
DAVID
What’s the time, please?
PITHETAERUS
The time? Why, it’s past noon. Who are you?
DAVID
What time is it exactly?
PITHETAERUS
I’m getting bored again.
DAVID
What is Donald Trump doing?
PITHETAERUS
Ah! I know who you are. You’re that annoying brexit man!
DAVID
Shh! Shh! Not so loud!
PITHETAERUS
Why, what’s the matter, Davey?
DAVID
Shh! Shh! Don’t mention my name. Don’t call me David. Call me James. If Donny should see me here he’d get really cross. But, if you want me to tell you what’s happening in The White House, take this umbrella and shield me, so that the gods don’t see me.
PITHETAERUS
Ok, Jimmy.
DAVID
Then listen.
PITHETAERUS
I am listening! Go on.
DAVID
Trump is finished.
PITHETAERUS
Really? Since when?
DAVID
Since you founded Cloudcuckooland. There is not a man who now donates to the politicians. Not the even smallest offering! And they’re all angry. They’re so angry that they are sending some other politicians here with a message.
PITHETAERUS
And what is that message?
DAVID
They want their money back! So Donald is going to make peace with you and is going to give you one of Boris’ secret children in marriage.
PITHETAERUS
Who is this secret child?
DAVID
Oh, you’d like them. If he gives you them for your partner, you will be even stronger than you are now. That is what I have come to tell you. You know that I’ve always been your friend. I did brexit for you!
PITHETAERUS
Oh, yes! We can cry on the floor about our steadily declining mental states, only assisted by political drama thanks to you.
DAVID
I hate the politicians, as you know.
PITHETAERUS
Yes, everyone knows that.
DAVID
And they hate me too. Anyway, I’d better scoot before they find me…
(Exit DAVID and enter POSEIDON, accompanied by HERCULES and TRIBALLUS)
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